He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize