Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
