drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
