i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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