Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
