Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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