i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
