I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
