Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
