My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
