Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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