The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
