every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize