no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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