Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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