her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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