she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
