No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
