its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
