Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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