i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
