After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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