life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
