fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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