I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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