we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
