"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
