Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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