R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
