I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
