She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
