Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
