I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
