She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We're too hungover to prance.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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