He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
