another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
