Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
