Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
