i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
