Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
