I puked a lego.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
