What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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