I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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