so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
