I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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