North Korea, Best Korea!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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