this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
