There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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