Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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