I wish I could teleport
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wear drunk well.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
