Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
