make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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