shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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