I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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