He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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