Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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