real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Randomize
