I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
well you can't waste a boner
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
