Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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