the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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