Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
