I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
