Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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