My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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