Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we're making bets on your personal life
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
