I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
